Did you hear the one about Jared and the prison dick in his ass?

Really?!?  You are going to unfriend really good people for a fucking joke?

The reason for this rant?  Some people don’t like the Jared getting raped in prison jokes.

First, I can assume that most of us here are fairly reasonable human beings and that we can all agree that rape is pretty fucking vile.  It may be worse than killing somebody.  Prison rape is also a real issue and problem in our prisons and should be condemned. What do I think is probably worse?  Pedophilia. The words actually escape me on how evil I think it is.  I know if somebody were to touch my kids that way and I would risk doing prison myself after I cleaned up the blood from the murderous rampage I would go on.  I am also fairly sure many parents would feel that same exact sentiment.

So, I am perusing my Facebook wall tonight on my phone (my mistake on my part) and I see some people bitching that they will pretty much unfriend (defriend? Whatever) anybody that makes a prison rape joke about Jared.  My first thought is that somebody does not understand the inner workings of edgy comedy.  Making light of prison rape on its own, probably not funny.  Making light of pedophilia, also probably not funny.  Making a joke about a pedophile getting prison raped…fucking hilarious. To my FB friends that are butthurt over this, the problem is you and you will lose quite a few friends (good friends) over being this extremely sensitive.  You are acting as if these jokes did not exist, the real horrors would go away. 

The point of edgy or caustic comedy is to take some of the things horribly wrong in this world and society by making it ridiculous and take its power away or find a way us to cope with the grief or the horror of it.  Jared is an evil monster that pretty much lost all his rights and dignity of being human the second he touched a child and he deserves everything that he has coming to him and that includes getting anally violated by a very large inmate.  The comedy is the irony.  Jared used his size and influence to do evil things to children and now he is going to get the same in return.

Reminds me of the situation with Louis CK and SNL.  He made a pedophile joke where he made the monster the butt of the joke and it was brilliantly funny.  A ton of people went ape shit over the joke but not once did the victim end up there with the monster.  This takes the power away from the monster.  It lessens them into something that deserves being ridiculed and not feared. It helps up cope with that horror.

In my mind and many like me, to state that you are going to unfriend somebody on FB because they said Jared was going to get a footlong in prison, it sounds like a child stomping their feet in anger because they did not get their way.  You want a safe little world where all jokes are tame and mild?  Not going to happen.  You might as well learn to cope with directly rather than stick your fingers in your ears and yelling “LA LA LA LA!!!  I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”  It also sound like you are trying to defend Jared…you may not be, but it sure does look that way.  Yeah…we get it, prison rape is bad but pedophilia is worse and this man is evil…pure and simple.  He used is money and influence to get underage CHILDREN to have sex with him.  In return, I hope this subhuman has a very large unwanted and unlubricated penis shove very far into his rectal cavity repeatedly.  I want an inmate to fuck Jared so hard in the ass that he will never be able to get the taste prison dick out of his mouth.  I want his ass to be parted like the Red Sea.  This should be the tip of the lesson that he should NEVER ever touch a child that way…that sick fuck.

Ugh.  I need some fucking comedy now.

So…I want everybody to post in response in the comments here on the blog, on Facebook or on Twitter with their best Jared getting raped in the ass by prison inmate jokes in text or meme form.  I want all of us to collectively take the power from that slime and ridicule him into oblivion.  The whole world needs to know that piece of shit will be remembered for being a monster and what we would like to see happen to him. I want his name to be so trashed that no one will ever use it again like what happened to the little mustache that Hitler wore.

Hit me with your best ones…GO!