The Human WHAT?!?

So. Where should I begin? This is not an easy movie to review. I guess I will start at the beginning. Sometime last year, one of the local independent theatres ran a small indy film called THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE (FIRST SEQUENCE). Shortly after that, I started hearing the buzz for it on "the twitter" by the likes of Roger Ebert and so forth. Earlier this year that subject was breached here in my own theatre and I finally heard what it was about. The subject made me actually step back in horror. It is a rarity that something actually makes me recoil in disgust…honest to goodness disgust. AND let me tell you, I have seen things and heard of things that would turn you white while I would not be fazed by it. This however was a whole other story. Now remember this is this basic premise I am talking about and I will get to that. I had people telling me that this movie has a huge "puke factor" built in and that I WILL get sick if I watch it. I was somewhat inclined to believe that too.

Now you are probably asking "What the hell is this HUMAN CENTIDPEDE you are rambling on about?" Well, here is the basic premise…

There is this prominent retired German doctor played very creepily by Dieter Laser who looked like a cross between Christopher Walken and Udo Kier. He specialized in conjoined twin separation that was obsessed in "creating instead of breaking down the bonds" between humans and wanted to "create" a human centipede. He wants to do this by surgically fusing three human beings together in a chain by first removing their patella's (so they can only crawl) and then connecting the three (unwilling) humans via the digestive tract. That's right, he made them go ass to mouth. As we all should know…you NEVER go ass to mouth. I am not going to bore you with the details and spoiler and just plain cut to the chase here. This movie is as I tweeted the night I watched it, "This is four shades of fucked up."

I watched it this more out of morbid curiosity than anything else. This movie IS sick. This movie IS dark. This movie IS HIGHLY disturbing and just plain creepy. It is however, NOT puke inducing. In fact, HUMAN CENTIPEDE was a slick albeit low budget horror/thriller flick. There was only one scene in the movie that really pushed the boundaries of what any decent human being would remotely thinks is bad taste (pun intended). However, while watching that scene, I just muttered something along the lines of "Oh shit…that's fucked!" The movie just delivers on the mental side of things and really does not physically show anything of a too gross nature.

Now if your keen eyes noticed, the sub-title says "First Sequence". That's right kids; this is part one of what the creator calls a "double feature" and the second one is now in production. According to Tom Six (the writer/director/producer), the first movie is to "ease" you into the idea of a said "human centipede". The next movie is to go all out and show much, MUCH more. The rumor is that he wants to have up to twelve people linked up ass to mouth. He is really going to up the bad taste (again, pun intended).

Now the big question is…should you watch HUMAN CENTIPEDE? Well, my answer is conditional. If you are decent person that has led a sheltered life, the answer is a RESOUNDING no if you want to continue being "normal". You will be scarred for life. However, if you have read this far without getting ill, you are probably somewhat scarred already could possibly survive the movie…possibly. If you are warped and scarred like me, you will sit through it with no more than a cringe or two. If you are some sicko serial killer, it will be like watching a comedy. Is you are involved in any way with the U.S. government, you will think it is a documentary because you are used to feeding people shit.

So…there you have it. If you are going to watch it, you have been warned…OR enjoy it. It all depends on your disposition in life. By the way, I WILL watch the second movie when that comes out because I think I am sick enough to handle it.