And the winner of the first Super Golden Douchey Award is...

Here is the inaugural launch of the Super Golden Douchey award. I have posted earlier this year that I would be doing this and I have finally gotten my thoughts together on this. I am ready to dish out some bile and venom on a bitch that so desperately deserves it. I know you had to click on a warning to get into this blog because of choice language and adult themes, but I feel the need to warn you that this one is particularly hateful. However this is because I care for somebody that is being lost to oblivion. First…let me give some history and background information.

The person I am spewing my hate fueled diatribe to is my sister-in-law, Dorothy Lawrence. Yeah, that's right…I called her out by name. If she wasn't such a waste of flesh and a burden to society, I probably would not call her out by name at all. It would be more like "this bitch I know really sucks". But no, she more than sucks, she is…how did I put it? Oh yeah, "she houses a singularity" of stellar proportions. That applied vacuum she supplies is so powerful that light itself could not even escape. Right, I met Dot when I joined the cast of the Rocky Horror Picture Show at the NARO Expanded Cinema in Norfolk, VA. Most first impressions of Dot by most people are similar to what I experienced. She comes across strong willed, outspoken, intelligent, witty and outgoing. The one thing that I did not experience is what most men did when they first met her. They became infatuated with her to almost the point of obsession. My wife has said that was quite common and still is. Viki is getting friend requests on Facebook from men she hasn't spoke with at all in some cases over 15 years. These guys are STILL obsessing over Dot but if wouldn't if they really knew what I know.

Dot has led a life of expectation and a sense of entitlement since her father died. Whenever she ever needed something, anything at all, her mother came a running to bail her out. That only strengthened that entitlement. I understand that parents love their children and will do whatever it takes to make them happy. I have 2 kids myself. I get it. However, dear ole' mom never put her foot down until recently but the damage was already done. Dot has done what she wants whenever she wants and is probably one of the most selfish people I know. She thinks she is always right. Arguing with her will not get you anywhere. OK, let's move up to more recent times…

Currently, Dot is living just around corner from us here in the Denver area. She moved here with her kids thinking she use us to take care of her kids and try to be family. She has totally fucked that up that I have not seen her in over a year. She is in her late 30's but appears to be much older than me due to her hard living. She looks like she has been rode hard and put away wet. She has two children…from TWO different fathers. She has never come across slutty and easy but due to her "I do what I want" mentality, she never thought about consequences of her actions. Dot has been given MANY opportunities to have a good job but royally screws it up. I got her a job with my company starting at the ground level and moved up to management and was on the road to going far. She fucked that up by dating piece of shit heroin addict and lied to the bosses numerous times and got herself fired over this dick. His mom worked for a law firm and got dot hired there. Dot's lying outspoken mouth got her in a physical fight at the firm with her boyfriends' mom. On top of this, Mr. Heroin knocked her up with her second kid. She said she was protected because they were being monogamous. HE WAS DOING HEROIN and she did not think that she could get pregnant. Last time I checked, an uncovered penis being rammed into a vagina repeatedly can lead to a parasitic growth in the female of the species. Well, that parasitic growth is now a slightly spoiled 5 year old girl. Now onto the oldest girl. I have known the oldest since she was less than a year old back in 1996. I saw her first steps and various other milestones. I was the closest thing to a father figure in my niece's life and I dug that. Her biological father is a pretty cool dude that wants to do right by her but is constantly being verbally poisoned by Dot. So basically, this post was prompted by what is going on with my older niece. She is living in a very caustic and detrimental environment that is leading her down a path that is getting to a point that she may be able to recover from.

I love my older niece very much. Due to some of the rough things she has gone through, she used to stay with me and Viki for almost entire summers at times and we even contemplated taking her away from Dot to raise her on numerous occasions. I really wish we had. Dot's mother actually did for a few years. Currently, my oldest niece is back living with Dot, her younger sister AND Dot's 21 year drug dealing boyfriend. Dot's boyfriend is closer in age to my niece than to Dot. WHAT. THE. FUCK?!? Seriously? Dot met this guy at her current job slinging Slurpees. Dot is always working delusions that she will be a manager. This is causing my oldest to care for her younger sister like a mother…ALL THE TIME. The oldest does all of the house work and care for the younger one. Dot also tries to be a "BFF" with the oldest by letting her stay up late on school nights, playing video games or watching movies that no child should be watching. There are friends of the dealer that hang out at the apartment when Dot is NOT there. Dot is not being a parent. My niece is extremely smart and we know it. She has been tested off the charts but she is COMPLETELY flunking out of middle school. Since mom does not care, my niece also does not care. There is nobody to put her on the path of being a productive person in society. My mother-in-law is threatening take my niece this summer if the grades do not improve. Not really a good idea since my mother-in-law is in her 70's and really should not be raising a teenager. I and my wife would love to take her but we are struggling right now with bankruptcy looming over our heads. Maybe once that is behind us, taking my niece may be an option.

Here is a message to you Dot. You are a piece of shit. You are a waste of flesh that is a burden on society that is sucking on the teat of the government. You are breathing air that could be put to better use by people that want to contribute to society. You have almost completed your masterpiece creation. A creation that will be a match of you in every way. Your soon to be clone is losing all of her dreams of being a marine biologist, being a child…being a productive member of society. Your oldest daughter WILL also be a complete waste humanity like you. I feel completely helpless and I fucking hate it. Every time I see your daughter's grades I am so close to driving over to your place and taking her away from you and giving you punch to the nose. Because you pushed your oldest out of your cooch, it does not make you automatically a good mother. You actually have to put the time in but you won't. You know what makes me even more saddened and frustrated…you have another life in your hands that you will eventually fuck up and BOTH of them look up to you. That breaks my heart to see two children with incredible amount of potential look up to somebody like you.

Dorothy Lawrence, I know this is probably far too much for you handle or you are just too plain lazy or you just don't give a shit, but I challenge you to be a good mother. Be the mother that your children need and desire. Make them into the adults they have the potential to be. However, since I know that this is probably a total impossibility for you, I am awarding you the Super Douchey Award. Maybe that douche will cleanse you of the shit that you are so full of but I think I will need a more industrial bus sized douche nozzle for that. Good day to you, you fucking cunt.